Is it a journal?

5/24/23

I think this would be a cool place to just keep a long, kind of rambling, stream of consciousness journal of sorts. I love essays and short stories and podcasts and super polished things like that, but I also crave things that are more unfiltered and messy. We’ll see if this can provide some of that for me and something of value for you.

I generally feel quite uncomfortable sharing things that are incomplete, and have been battling that urge in a major way over the last year or so, making songs and sharing them with friends and collaborators. It makes me feel more comfortable being my flawed, imperfect self to share the process with other people. I’ve found it’s impossible, for me anyway, to make art without collaborating, talking about it, and hearing how people interpret it. Sometimes they think it sucks, or it’s boring, or they just don’t get it, and then sometimes they’re right there with you in that beautiful creative space in some fragile world that now exists for both of you. And I love that.

I think I used to want others to see me as someone who was good at things and had it all figured out, but looking back it was a terrifying and exhausting way to interact with people. I would hold my creativity so tightly until I had inspected it from every angle, until the product was perfect, and boring. Now, I just want people to see me as someone who is changing. Or I just want to be my changing self, whether other people see it or not.